Meta Message: Alignment of Message and Behavior

Your non-verbal behavior is the Meta Message that audiences take away from your public speaking style.  It is the overall impression that you leave with them.   If your style is tentative, audiences will see you as tentative.  If your style is thoughtful and passionate, you’ll get labeled as that.

When your behavior does not align with your message, which will the audience believe?  For example, if you heard a presenter say, “I am completely confident that we will meet the project deadline” but he is ringing his hands, looking at the floor, and his vocal intonation and facial expression are flat, would you believe him?

Notice this guy’s behavior when he says, “I’m really excited …”

Do you believe that he really is excited?

If you’ve been given the feedback that your voice is monotonous or your face lacks expression, this may be an area of exploration and development for you.

Practice delivering messages in a way that feels over-the-top or exaggerated but looks genuine to others or when you see yourself on video.

The Bottom Line: Be sure to align your non-verbal behavior with your message.  Choose behavior that supports your message and projects the style that you want people to associate with you.

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