Facing the Thing that Scares You

Editor's Note: This is a guest post by our partners, BrillianceInc.

Cracks in the Foundation

My house in Oakland was built in 1924 on a steep downward slope. When someone would ask if my house had a bolted foundation, I’d say something like “Oh, I’m sure it must” and would change the subject. I liked to assume that, since a lot of renovations had taken place before we moved in, someone must have fixed it.  The fact that someone had actually sealed off any access to the foundation made it easier for me to ignore it: can’t assess what you can’t see.
For a while, this avoidance strategy saved me money. Then, a crack in the foundation revealed itself. And over the course of a year, with a few minor earthquakes, and good ol’ gravity, the crack grew. It grew until one day, I decided to pull my head out of the sand and bring in an expert to tell me what I had.

Expert Deniers

We humans are really good at ignoring cracks in all sorts of foundations: the body that we keep pushing until we suffer a debilitating injury or illness; the resentment that we allow to fester until the relationship is beyond repair; the key employee that we ignore until they quit and sign up with the competition; the waistline that grows until we can’t button our skinny pants…then our fat pants.

The laundry…

Just in Time

The General Contractor told me that, while half of my house had a new bolted foundation, the other half was sitting (and sliding) on an original slab.
The work to replace the foundation took just 13 days. Five days after completion, we had an earthquake and aftershock with an epicenter less than 10 miles away. We were jolted but the house didn’t suffer a single crack.
Sure, I would have liked to have spent the money elsewhere, but the feeling of strength, stability, and security I gained was worth it.

Facing the Truth

Pulling your head out of the sand and shining light on the thing that scares you takes courage. And once you do, you can begin to take steps to repair. Until then, you are powerless to improve your situation, and you continue to skid in the wrong direction.

Questions for Reflection

1.    What problems am I ignoring in my:

• Health
• Relationships
• Reputation
• Happiness
• Finances
• Career

2. What’s the story I tell myself that helps me ignore the truth?

3. What will happen in 6 months if I change nothing?

4. What’s most vital that I change?

5. What’s the most potent first step I can take toward improving it?

6. Whose help do I want to enlist to support me?*

* Don’t even think of going it alone. Find a friend, coach, mental or physical health practitioner, or a class to support you as you begin to change the goblin before it becomes unruly.

photo credit: paparutzi