Receiving Feedback: Communication Skills

Receiving frank assessments about ourselves from others is often not easy and can be an emotional experience. Here are a few tips on how best to prepare yourself to receive feedback, to be receptive and to leverage the value of the comments you receive from others.

·  Relax:  Feedback is an adventure of discovery into yourself. Be willing to entertain new ideas about yourself.  Some of the comments you receive might be useful, others not. Even if all that is said is not accurate, you just might learn something from the small part that is.  

·  Be a sponge:  Resist the urge to explain.  Just listen respectfully, acknowledge the comments and avoid explaining your actions.  When you explain, you are likely to be perceived as defensive or unwilling to listen to feedback.

·  Ask for clarification:  Ask if there were certain words, gestures or expressions that created the impression he or she received from you. Listen carefully to these details.

·  Write down the comments:  This information will be even more valuable after a couple of days and you might find it easier to get past any emotionally-charged words or issues you had at the time the comments were made.

·  Practice Kaizen: “Continuous improvement.”  Embrace the philosophy that has made Toyota the world’s premier auto manufacturer.  When you practice this mindset, you will begin to see that all feedback is an invaluable gift – an invitation to examine one’s self with fresh eyes.

Let us heed the words of poet Robert Browning: “Oh what a gift he could give us; to see ourselves as others see us.”

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