The Gift You’ve Been Waiting For

Editor's Note:  This is a guest post by BrillianceInc 

‘Tis the season of giving and receiving.  Although gift-givers may have thoughtful intentions, it’s rare that we receive a gift that speaks to our heart — that leaves us feeling truly seen, understood, and appreciated.

With this Holiday Edition, we offer a way to end the year ceremoniously, with heart and meaning.

You may want to grab a notebook or blank sheet of paper (electronic or old-fashioned)

Step One: Catalog Accomplishments

Brainstorm your accomplishments for 2009. When brainstorming, consider multiple aspects of your life, including health, fun & recreation, professional, personal, financial, physical environment, personal development, family, and relationships. Include anything that feels significant.

For those who need a jump-start, here are some possibilities:

• Shielded your team from nasty politics
• Brought home a paycheck so your family could maintain a certain quality of life
• Completed ___ performance reviews
• Managed the health and daily care of one or more children
• Cared for ill or grieving parents
• Wrote holiday cards
• Remembered special occasions (anniversary, birthdays)
• Fit in work-out time
• Organized your electronic files, closet, office…
• Fed the dog

Step Two: Identify the Most Important Accomplishments

Reflect on which of these accomplishments feels the most meaningful. If they tend to all fall into the “work” category, check to see how you are defining accomplishment. Is your sense of success  defined by what others think or what you feel? Note which item(s) on the list garnered no meaningful praise, yet felt deserving of appreciation.

Step Three: Let Go

It’s likely that you may never receive sufficient, specific appreciation from your partner, team, parent, child, or dog. Notice whether you feel any resentment or remorse about this. Then take a deep breath and let the resentment go. If you find it hard to drop any “should” stories (i.e., “he should be more appreciative”) it might help to recall that others may be waiting for just the right praise from you. Forgive them and forgive yourself.

Now, take action to craft praise that lights up your heart.

Step Four: Express Appreciation to You

First, close your eyes and imagine a second version of yourself stepping outside your body and turning to face you. This second self holds no resentment or judgment. Now have this second self express deep gratitude for your actions. Take in the words and sentiments, letting them fill you up. Take a couple deep breaths. Repeat for any other significant accomplishments.

Step Five: Offer Appreciation to Others

Consider what wonderful things others have done that you may have taken for granted. Offer appreciation in a way that you think would mean the most to them (a card, a gift, a statement of praise). Tell them how it made a difference for you.

Our Deepest Thanks

The cataloging and appreciation exercise was inspired by our dear colleague, Rita Hovakimian, in her annual Strategic Visioning Workshop. To find out more visit  http://www.inspiringsuccess.net/

We thank you for your support, inspiration, and trust in this first full year of Brilliance Inc. We are blessed to have this work and hope to continue to offer solutions for a very long time as we grow into our mission to raise the level of compassion, skill, and effectiveness in every human interaction.

Happy Holidays from Denise and Heather! 

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.

- Cicero

There are two ways to live life: One as if nothing is a miracle, the other as if everything is.

- Einstein

 photo credit: mysza831