Sometimes you absolutely have to make your point. Here are 7 tips on how to do it effectively with style and grace from Inc.com.
While many people don’t like to sell, most find themselves having to persuade someone at some point. Persuasion is not just for salespeople and their prospects. You may try to persuade an employee to perform better, or perhaps you want to persuade your boss to take on your brilliant idea. Often the most effective persuaders are your kids. Somehow they come by it naturally while you, the adult, has to work hard to find the persuasive path to success.
Whatever your persuasive need, here are 7 things that the most persuasive people consistently do:
1. They Are Purposeful
Truly persuasive people understand their power and use it sparingly and knowingly. They understand that most conversations do not require trying to get someone to do or accept something. Aggressive pushers are a turn-off and will put most people on the defensive. It’s the person who rarely asks or argues that ultimately gets consideration when they strongly advocate an idea, especially when they do it with power and persistence. Simply put, they pick their battles. Want to persuade more? Argue and advocate less often.
2. They Listen … and Listen … Then Listen Some More
People who know how to persuade also know that just pushing your own argument will get you nowhere. They certainly are able to articulate their position in a convincing way, but that is only half the equation. They are actively listening when in persuasion mode. First, they are listening to assess how receptive you are to their point of view. Second, they are listening for your specific objections, which they know they’ll have to resolve. Last, they are listening for moments of agreement so they can capitalize on consensus. Amazingly persuasive people are constantly listening to you and not themselves. They already know what they are saying. You can’t persuade effectively if you don’t know the other side of the argument.
3. They Create a Connection
It’s easy to dismiss people who are trying to persuade you if you have no emotional stake in them or their argument. Really persuasive people know this, so they will be likeable and look for common ground to help establish emotional bonds and shared objectives. They show empathy for your position and make it known that they are on your side. They manage their impatience and wait for you to give them permission to advocate their approach. You’ll persuade people much more easily if they are open and aligned with your desires.
photo credit: mystuart